Insomnia???

[prvt_tucker]

Lately I have hardest time sleeping which is weird as fuck because my meds normally knock me tf out but I’ve been up since 2 am.
I’m not sure if it’s stress or anxiety or like,,,,I’m still trying to pull myself out of this relapse hole or my manic phase (meds still leveling out)
Honestly it’s probably the mania and the anorexia—I’m getting better at not using anorexic behaviors but I’m still searching for that balance that is mentioned in EDA. It seems elusive, and yet I can recognize how far I’ve come.
I mentioned to K that august will be 10 years since we met at ERC (my first inpatient treatment center) and part of me can’t fathom. I’ve been trying to treat this eating disorder I’ve had for 27 years for 10 years now.
And I look back on that Tucker, on the girl who can’t have more than a few bites of food without severe panic attack and I can recognize the progress. Because not only can I (mostly) eat 3 meals a day, I have discovered that are plenty of foods that I love and enjoy and I just….who would have thought???
But I would like to be able to sleep lmao that would be nice

Comments

[in_sufficientdata]

I go through periods of insomnia and hypersomnia. Currently I'm hypersomnic which means I keept sleeping 12-14 hours and waking up at like 3pm (like today). I actually prefer the insomnia lol, I hate sleeping my life away.

[prvt_tucker]

I can understand why you prefer the latter. Rn with almost no privacy the insomnia is so rough bc I don’t wanna disturb my roommates cause I can’t just idk get up and potter around without waking them
But y’know.

[in_sufficientdata]

Oh yeah, having a person in the room with you definitely makes a difference! I hope you can start getting some good sleep.